In a time long, long ago, before “social distancing” was a thing, and when hugs were still how the woke said hello, I headed back on the road. I was excited. After months of debating “what’s next,” I had a plan: the time for endless thinking inside was over. 

According to the Gregorian calendar that was March 4th, 2020, roughly 3 weeks ago, though it sure feels like a decade ago now, right?

As I headed out on the road I wondered what this chapter of my journey would be like. What would I see that I didn’t expect? What new things would I discover inside myself? What common themes would emerge?

Quickly, one answer seemed to be forming: (re)connection. Everywhere I went (with little or no advanced planning) I saw friends who I’d only met in the last 12 months.

During just 9 days I hiked, skied, ate, and stayed with 9 different friends and families. 

Each interaction was unique, profound, deep, vulnerable, and lasted hours.  None of them overlapped. So, I barely had a minute to myself except when I was driving. I didn’t care. These various and very different people – spanning ages 2 to 72 – absolutely filled me up. Though our conversations often treaded into weighty topics, in the end, every one of them lifted me up and made me feel abundant in spirit.

One particularly sweet moment occurred after spending two days with my friend CJ (who attended my yoga teacher trainings) and her family. As I was standing in their family’s driveway getting ready to leave her youngest son (about six) turned to me and asked: “When are you coming back?” 

I told him, “I don’t know, but I hope soon.” 

“How about tomorrow?” He suggested excitedly. 

“No not tomorrow…” I laughed awkwardly, not sure how to reply. I was tongue-tied and deeply touched. 

As I drove the 3+ hours out of the mountains to my next stop I felt aglow. There’s nothing quite like someone telling you how they want you around, even if that someone is a child you just met. 

Hours later I looked at my phone. I’d received three texts, all from CJ. 

Did she have more messages about how much her children missed me? I wondered excitedly.

Not exactly. 

Here is the first text, a simple image:

Wait? What? I don’t get it… I thought. Was she trying to send me a picture of her dog?

A second text: “You might need this.” I looked at the image again - oh **** my suitcase! It can’t be…

The third text – a crazed faced emoji.

And so, the next afternoon, after spending all morning and the prior night until 3am talking with my cousin and his wife, I turned around and drove the 3 hours back to pick up my suitcase.

Sadly, I didn’t get stay long. Something told me I needed to get back to Minnesota with everything happening around Corona. Surely this mass hysteria would blow over quickly. It wouldn’t be long until I could get back on the road and back to my carefully thought out plans.

Upon returning home, out of an abundance of caution, one morning I decided to go to the grocery store and get some frozen food – just in case. As I was checking out I received another text from CJ. Fingers crossed it’d be message affirming how much her family all missed me? I thought. 

And … no.

“I am coughing.” 

Then: “Dr thinks it’s the virus… quarantine.”

I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. Should I leave the food and walk away? What’s the protocol for this? I’d already put my items on the conveyer belt. I looked at the cashier. I saw he was wearing gloves. Am I supposed to tell him about the text I received? I still felt fine… Not knowing what to do, I tried to stand as far away as possible and not speak in his direction. “You should change your gloves…”

Once my food was bagged I drove straight home.

After kicking my brother out of our apartment (for his protection…)

I lay in bed and waited…

What was happening inside me? I still felt fine, but… was I about to get sick any minute? I was alone. What then? Had I infected others without realizing it? What was happening in the world? I tried to channel my inner positivity and yoga practices. Mind over matter. Don’t catastrophize this.

More texts from CJ. Her fever was spiking.

I dialed up everyone I’d seen in Colorado since I’d been with CJ: “I feel fine, but I just wanted to let you know…”

Once done, I crawled back into bed and drew the curtains even though it was the middle of the afternoon.

Stay calm… I reassured myself as I took my temperature for the 4th time in 2 hours.

To be continued… later this weekend.

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